You are absolutely not alone. It seems so dark and sad sometimes. I'm usually a pretty happy person but the last few months gutted me. I had the surgery and that was great. I am a lucky person to have the surgery and it's healing well. However, that surgery, as I've said before hurt so badly while I was in the early part of my recovery. I think it's because of where it was. I need to heal some pretty deep hurts that had to do with that part of my body. The part of my body that "receives". Healing had so much to do with that. The pain seemed worse because I was healing physically, mentally, and emotionally. Especially emotionally.
I stopped speaking to someone in that recovery time. This someone hurt me emotionally, and mentally for years and I needed a break. I am happy to have let that relationship to go but it still takes work and there is still emotionally angst all mixed up in all the other feelings from that action.
The truth is, I'm feeling better now. Stronger. I am starting to clean my house and finish tasks that have been left too long. I can't get rid of the cans of paint until the touch ups are done and It's something I had to get to. What I am trying to say is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you are sitting in darkness please make some step into the light. It's scary right now and that's coming from a very privileged woman. It turns out i had to do something for someone else before I could see the light. You might have to too.
See you next time. I hope it won't be too long.
It's all about the love.