What am I doing?

A couple of weeks ago a declared, "I AM A WRITER" and since that day I have been doing everything I can not to write. Despite recovering from major surgery and having three teeth that need root canals (Read: I am in pain) I am quite busy. Getting things done. However, these are not what's supposed to be getting done.

Sure, I am on top of the laundry even though I can only carry 3 lbs at a time. The dishes are done, mostly. I've even thought of washing the floors. My closet is so sorted I know where every clothing item I know is and whether or not it needs to be pressed. Yes! my ironing is even finished. I've walked the dog numerous times just to get out of writing.

I even had a deadline and I was procrastinating with the best of them. Deadlines terrify me. I remember them vividly from University. I also remember that when I was getting my B. Ed. I was a single mom of three small children and I was working full time in the casino. How I found the time to use the washroom, I don't know, but somehow I made every one of those deadlines. To be fair, sometimes the professors would move the deadline for me if I told them what was happening in my life. There are weeks when I don't remember sleeping. I would wake up at about 5:30 and get ready for the day. I would get myself ready and at 6am wake the boys and hurriedly get them ready for daycare. At 7 I would drop them off and catch the next bus across the city to my University. My classes would start at 9 am and on the bus I would meditate and then read or write, if I had a seat.

Classes ended at 2 and I would rush home so that I could do some homework before I picked up the kids. Sometimes I would leave them at daycare until 6pm so I could get some things done. Then came supper, bath, and a little playtime. The babysitter would show up at 7:30 pm and my ride to work would pick me up so that I could be at work by 8pm. Casino work is standing work and I would be there until 4 am. My ride would drop me at home for 4:30 and I would take a short nap. I worked Wednesday-Saturday. Weekends were great because I could finally get some restful sleep.

So, how could I meet all those deadlines and write all those essays and work in all those focus groups with three little people that I was responsible for? I have no idea but I need to find some of that now. This moment.

Maybe I need to create my own deadlines. I'm off to the internet now to learn more about deadlines. The first thing I want to figure out is why they are called "deadlines".

I'll be back...hopefully with some ideas about deadlines.

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