Imagine, if you will, that one day you marry the love of your life.
Imagine, the next month he notices a large lump on his neck.
Imagine, the next month he is diagnosed with cancer.
Imagine, the next month your first grandchild is born healthy and strong.
Imagine, the next month your mother is diagnosed with cancer.
Imagine, the next month on two of your children's birthdays, your mother passes away.
Imagine, 22 days later you are arrested at the gates of a fossil fuel tank farm for crossing and not leaving an injunction line.
It's at about this point when you lose track of time. It doesn't seem to matter anymore.
Next thing you know your very dear friend cannot fight the years long fight against cancer.
You go to court for the arrest.
Your husband and many many others are accused of disgusting crimes of which they are innocent. There have never been investigations or arrests, only accusations.
The accusations destroy an entire spiritual community.
You hastily make plans to go to what you think is your dream trip to India.
While there you are confronted with your privilege in a huge way.
You have deep and sometimes painful spiritual experiences there and find out who you are and who you are not.
You find you do not like how white people are treated there. Treated too well, with too much deference.
Just as you are headed home you fall in the shower and sustain a head injury.
With a massive goose egg you embark on a flight from Bangalore, India to Vancouver, Canada only 6 hours after the injury.
No one notices you are in a very bad place even though you are travelling with 5 other people. Your travelling companion has blockages in her veins, thrombosis, maybe even a heart attack on the plane.
For a month you sleep.
Then you sleep some more.
You are always in pain. You wake up with headaches, nausea, vertigo, fog.
When the fog lifts you start to "live".
You take walks, cook simple meals, have sex, once.
While you are vacuuming one day a big heavy door falls on your head.
OUCH that hurts!!
But you keep vacuuming until a drop of blood falls on your hand. That's when you realise you feel very faint and grab something to hold against the, what you now know, is a pretty substantial gash in almost the same place as you hit in India.
Off to the Emergency Room to get glued up and warned your hockey career is now and forever over.
The FOG, DARKNESS, PAIN, LONELINESS, SLOWNESS, INABILITY TO THINK, MEMORY LOSS, ANXIETY (to this day I still have it in heaps) return and with a vengeance. Angry that I didn't learn the lesson the first time.
That brings us to now and how my life has drastically changed in the space of two years. This is my story and how I got where I am today. Life is too short and I am tired of living a passive life. I want to live fully. A switch has been flipped so to speak.
My name is Sparrow. Welcome to my world as I see it. A world where I live authentically and fully.
I am doing my best.